S 635 
Z9 

3145 
opy 1 




^<^Hb 





Catching Clara 

A Commencement Play 



LOUISE RAND BASCOM 



(Acting Rights Free to Purchtuer of 12 Copies) 



Price 35 Cents 



MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 

208, 210, 212 Wrighi Avenue, Lebanon, Ohio 





Catching Clara 



A Commencement Play 



Louise Rand Bascom 

Author of "The Masonic Ring," "The Golden Goblet," etc 



(Acting Rights Free to Purchaser of 12 Copies) 



March Brothers, Publishers 

208, 210, 212 Wright Ave., Lebanon, Ohio 



T'o'-^^.aS' 



^\ 



J> 



3^^- 



Copyright, 1914 

by 
March Brothers 



^CI.D 37762 

AUG -6 191^ 
KOf 



TMP92-00862S 



FOREWORD 

So much need has been felt for a play in which a whole 
graduating class may take part that "Catching Clara" has 
been specially designed to meet such a requirement. If 
necessary, however, the cast may be reduced to any number 
by doubKng up on the parts. At least twenty-four should 
be used for the final procession scene, though even more 
would increase the effect of the finale. A small number 
may be augmented if those who pass out through corridors 
L. and R. will hurry back of the scenes and re-enter at C. 
If semi-transparent scenery is used, however, candles should 
be blown out after exit at L. and R. and relit before re- 
entering at C. Otherwise, the makesliift will become 
apparent to the audience. In an entertainment where 
regular stage setting is unprocurable, the walls for the 
third act may be made of green bunting or denim ( prefer- 
ably denim) with wide arches at L. and R. and two doors at 
C. The doors may be borrowed from any hinges and hung 
temporarily. Some strong support should be placed behind 
them so that the scenery will not shake when they are 
opened. 

Any box which is large enough to contain a person may 
be used for the business of the first, second and third acts. 
As Clara's window seat the loose boards are laid on top, 
with a window cushion resting on the boards. If holes for 
the nails are already bored — an advisable proceeding — care 
should be exercised lest the work of putting on the cover 
appear too easy. Several good laughs should be worked 
up out of the popular fallacy that a woman can not drive 
a nail. 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Clara Craddock, President of the Senior Class of Rutland College. 

Myrtle Bank, 

Isabel Langley, 

Daisy Green, 

Bug Beal, )> Seniors. 

Beth Mathis, 

WiLLYE RaYE, 

Joy Jones, 

Cassie White, President of the Junior Class of Rutland College. 

Katie Hugo, 

Mattie Bragg, 

Margaret Waterman, V Juniors. 

Hazel Due, 

Minnie Tracy, 



Muggsy, 
Pete, 

Prof. Rice, 
Howard Brace, 
George Grenville, 



Two Burglars- 



Settlement House Committee for Rutland Tech. 



Mrs. Grenville, George's mother — a Commencement visitor. 



Patsy Flannigan, 
Tom Smith, ( 

Giovanni Givanni, | 

Hans Reuther, 

Putnam, a negro janitor. 



Settlement House children. 



SYNOPSIS 



Act I. — Evening in a dormitory room at Rutland College for 

Women. 
Act n. — ^3 P. M. the following day in a dormitory room at Rutland 

Tech. 
Act hi. — Evening in South Corridor of Rutland College Hall. 
Place. — A college town. 
Time. — Present. 



STAGE DIAGRAMS 

ACT I. 




w 





A— Desk. 
B— Bed. 
C — Chair. 
D— Door. 

ACT II. 

1 i '"^ 

o 
o 

c 



S — Screen. 
T— Table. 
W — Window. 
X— Box. 




A— Desk. 
B— Bed. 
C — Chair. 
D— Door. 



N — Curtain. 
R — Bookcase. 
W — Window. 



ACT III. 




T 1 — 




(^Settee. 

DD— Double Door. 

P— Palms. 



S — Statuary. 
L — Archway. 
R — Archway. 



CATCHING CLARA 



ACT 1. 

Scene — Dormitory room of Claka Craddock. The 
walls are adorned with college permants, pictures, tennis 
rackets, etc. Electric lights or lamps are lit. Clara and 
Myrtle stand by a table down R. making fudge. Isabel, 
Daisy and Beth in kimonos or Peter Thompson suits lounge 
an bed-couch down L.— Beth half asleep. Willye and Joy 
sit on the floor at their feet with knees drawn up. They 
are scanning a copy of ''Life" and giggle silently from 
time to time, pointing out some amusing joke. Before the 
curtavn rises the girls begin singing their college song. 
After the rise they sing the chorus— the girls on the floor 
nonchalantly, still reading "Life"; Isabel and Daisy viva- 
ciously keeping time with their heads; the girls at the 
chafing dish with dignitz/, though beating the table with 
spoons. A gong rings outside. 

Clara {stirring fudge)— There's the silence bell. 
Isabel (chanting from the couch)— Three more days 
and we'll be free from this hole of miser-ee. 

Myrtle — Last year I wept when the Seniors gave up 
the steps to us Juniors. It seemed so sad to see them going 
out from their Alma Mater. 

Joy— And this year it was all you could do to look 
mournful when the Juniors took the steps from you. I 
don't feel a bit sorry to grab my diploma and hike. 



8 CATCHING CLARA. 

Clara — Yes, yes. Everybody's tired. It's hard to be 
sentimental when you're tired. 

WiiiLYE {looking up from "Life") — I'm so glad to 
know other people feel the same way. I've wept every 
night for four years at the prospect of being separated 
from my friends at graduation. Now I don't care if I 
never see one of them again. (Resumes reading.) 

Daisy and Isabel (shaking their fingers at Willye's 
back) — Fie, fie, naughty Will-eye. 

Claea — Let her alone; I know exactly how she feels. 
( Krwck at door R. Girls look at each other. ) S-sh ! 

Isabel (rising) — Don't you dare go to the door, Clara. 
It may be a Junior. (Again the knock.) 

Myrtle (getting chair from R. hack) — Here, let's put 
the chair by the door. You can look through the transom, 
BeUe. You're taller than I. 

Isabel (mounting chair) — I know perfectly well it's 
Katie Hugo or Mattie Bragg or both of them. They've 
hardly let you out of their sight for a month, Clara. 
(Looks out.) Oh, it's only Bug. Wait a minute, Bug. 
I'll let you in. (Climbs down, unlocks door and opens it 
cautiously. ) 

Myrtle — It's time Bug came along with a plan ! 

Isabel — Enter, Lady Bug. 

Bug (entering) — It's dreadful! Just dreadful! 
( Walks aimlessly around the room, looking at various 
things. Finally sits down on window seat C. Back, where 
she picks at the pillows.) 



CATCHING CLARA. 



Isabel {gomg to table to taste the fudge) — Of course 
it's dreadful. It's worse than dreadful ! It's fierce ! It's 
up to you to do something, Bug. 

Bug {scornfully) — Up to me! Oh, yes! If things 
don't come out all right, it'll all be my fault. Why does 
the whole Senior Class pick on me to get 'em out of this 
hole, I'd like to know? 

Joy {lazily) — Because you advertise your brains more 
than anybody else, Bug, my dear. 

Bug {tossing a pillow savagely) — Tomorrow's our last 
chance. {Urgently.) Girls, we just must do sometliing! 
We just can't let those fool Juniors keep us from the Senior 
Book Burning. 

Daisy — Well, we can't have the Book Burning without 
our president and we can't have the torchlight procession 
till the books are cremated. I don't see what we're going 
to do. 

Isabel — Those nasty Juniors are doing everything 
in their power to prevent us from graduating. Book Burn- 
ing is the prettiest custom we have. I hate to be kept from 
it! The Juniors have been too superior for words lately! 
The wretches ! 

Joy — They'll be insufferable if we can't steal away 
from them for the burning. 

Myrtle — If we don't burn our note-books you may be 
sure we'll go down in the history of the college as the class 
that never graduated. 



10 CATCHING CLARA. 

Clara — Myrtle's right. The faculty may give us our 
diplomas, but if we don't get our books burned we shall 
never feel that we have got our degrees. {Sits dejectedly 
on chair R.) 

Bug — Cheer up — keep believin'. Something'll turn up. 
We've got till ten o'clock tomorrow night. 

WiLLYE — And Clara watched every minute. Mark my 
words ! Sure as Fate the Juniors will steal Clara and keep 
her locked up all day tomorrow. There's no hope for it, 
we're beaten. 

Myrtle {extinguishing alcohol ftame and pouring 
fudge into a pan) — Being beaten isn't the worst of it. It's 
appearing before the Juniors in South Corridor tomorrow 
night and acknowledging the defeat ! That's what gets 
me! 

Isabel — You've got to think up something, Bug ! 

Beth {stretching sleepily) — No more hash. {Crossly) 
■ — I tell you I don't want any more hash ! Want some blue 
balloons — quite fresh. {Girls on couch shake and pvnch 
her.) 

Daisy — Wake up, sleepy-head. The fudge is nearly 
cool. 

Beth {stUl sleepily) — I'll take drawn-butter. Blue 
balloons with drawn-butter. Ouch, leave go my arm ! 
{Sits up and looks around dejectedly.) 

Daisy — Wake up ! Get busy ! We're in an awful 
box. Wake up and help us out. 



CATCHING CLARA, 11 

Bug {rising excitedly^ — I've got it! I've got it! I've 
got it! {Frantically begins throwing shoes, clothes, books f 
etc., out of Clara's window box. 

Chorus — Got what! 

Bug — It! It! The idea for our salvation! It did 
take my brains after all. 

Isabel, — Yes, we see it took your brains. We're mighty 
sorry to lose them, too — right when we needed them so. 

Bug — Greatest idea since Demosthenes divorced his 
wife. 

Beth — Did he divorce his wife.f* 

Bug — Why will you always fuss about detail .f* Per- 
haps it was Napoleon. Anyway, here's the box and there's 
Clara. What's simpler.'' 

Clara — Bug, you are a genius ! We'll all admit it ; 
but if you think I'm crazy about being penned up in that 
window box, you don't know me ! 

Bug {dragging box down L.) — Yes, make objections. 
Ask me to save the name of the class and then balk when I 
get hold of an idea that will make us immortal. There's 
plenty of air here ! What's your kick ? Plenty of cracks, 
knot-holes and sich-like. It's only an old packing case. 
You won't hurt it any. Honest you won't ! Will she, 
girls ? 

Joy — You mean you*re going to put poor Clara into 
that box.'' 



12 CATCHING CLARA, 

Bug — Sure. Put her in, nail her up, let box out of 
window ! Isabel can go telephone an expressman while 
we're doing it and Clara'll be carted out of the way before 
she knows it. {Strikes an attitude.) — I did it! I've got 
the head ! 

Isabel — A mighty big one, Bug. 

Clara {kicking at box with one foot) — That's all very 
fine, but I have no hankering to bump down three stories in 
that flimsy thing. Besides, it's too big to go out the 
window. 

Bug {disgustedly) — You folks make me sick with your 
everlasting detail. {Looks hack at window.) It is too big! 
We'll have to cut it down. 

Joy — What ? The window .? 

Bug — No, the box, of course. I don't wonder we've 
never got our books burned with only one brain in the class. 

Clara — But it's against rules for anyone to leave the 
dormitory after ten o'clock. If I did get out the Juniors 
would say we didn't play fair and there'd be a row on with 
the faculty. 

Daisy — Well, why not shut Clara in the box tonight 
and set her in the hall.? We can get the expressman to 
take her to the Dean's cottage the first thing in the morning. 

Joy — Why not.'* She can easily steal away from there 
to the North Woods and we can drift over one by one for 
the burning. 

Isabel — ^Better and better. The Dean has been col- 
lecting old clothes to send to the settlement house. We'll 
mark you old clothes, Clara. Nobody will ever suspect. 



CATCHING CLARA. 18 

Clara — The idea i^ fine theoretically. The Dean'll 
look after me when she gets me, but I'm not begging to 
spend the night nailed up in a packing case. What if 
there's a fire .'' You mutts'll go off and let me roast to death. 

Bug — Aways fussing about your individual feelings ! 
You've got to save the class ! Anybody else'd be glad oi 
the chance ! 

Myrtle — Belle's right. We can't leave you to nail 
yourself up, Clara. {Goes to desk.) We must all go to 
our rooms to sleep or the Juniors will suspect. 

Isabel — Yes, you stay in the hall all night. The ex- 
pressman will wheel you out the first thing in the morning 
and the Dean'll have you out of the box by seven or eight. 

Clara — There's no telling what'U happen to me. It's 
too foolhardy. I have a father and mother and kid brother 
to be considered. 

Bug — Yes, but it isn't as though you were leaving them 
anything. 

WiLLYE — You'll at least be spared hearing your father 
tell that your education cost him ten thousand when you 
know you never had so much as a dime to buy a sundae. 

Myrtle — Go on, Clara. Be a sport. It's our only 
chance. 

Clara (stepping into the box) — Oh, I'll go, of course. 
There's nothing else to do, but I know what'll happen. 
You'll put me in the hall and then you'll stand around whis- 
pering to me till somebody suspects. They'll dump me in 
the pond if you let on. 



14 CATCHING CLARA. 

WiLLYK — Give us credit for some discretion. 

Clara — ^Wcll, there are penalties for being class presi- 
dent. I guess the sacrifice is up to me. Give me a couple 
of pillows, Daisy. 

WiLLYE (bringing tooth-brush and soap from behind 
screen) — ^Want these, Clara dear? 

Bug {tossvng a can of condensed milk and a box of 
crackers into Clara's retreat) — You may need these, 
prexie. Here's a cake of chocolate, too. Give it to the 
Dean if you don't want it. She's getting too thin. Needs 
more sugar and less starch in her diet. 

Beth — Don't you mean protein.'' 

Bug (rummaging through drawers of Clara's desk, 
which are crammed with all manner of things that exude 
from time to time) — There you go again. Always detail 
— detail. 

Daisy — Here's a pocket flash-light to peruse Sweetness 
and Light. Or should you prefer Pride and Prejudice? 

Clara (disappearing) — Paradise Lost would be better. 
You don't seem to realize the greatness of my sacrifice. I 
shall be bowed and bent forever more. 

Bug (still rummaging at Clara's desk) — There's a 
hammer here somewhere. I remember putting it in. 
Haven't you any nails? 

Clara — In the table drawer. 

Isabel — Here's your kimmie and your boudoir cap, 
Clara dear. Take 'em along. No telling what you'll need. 



CATCHING CLARA. 15 

Clara — I'd be more comfortable with a life preserver 
and fire extinguisher. I know something awful is going to 
happen to me. 

Daisy {throwing m some puffs and a false braid) — 
Better take these, too. Don't let the Juniors say that we 
cast you off without your belongings. 

Beth (peering in at Claka) — Are you going to be 
very uncomfortable, Clara dear.? 

Clara — Very, thank you. 

Isabel (dancing a little) — Won't it be fine to see those 
Juniors tomorrow night ! 

Bug (puts boards on top of packing case and begins 
nailing it up) — Don't cackle too soon. Plague it! I hit 
my sore thumb again. (Picks up dust-cloth and wraps 
over left hand before proceeding) — I wonder why men 
don't know enough to make a straight hammer. I never 
picked up one yet that wasn't crooked. Simply can't use 
'em without an accident policy. 

Myrtle (turning from desk where she has been writ- 
ing) — Here are two gorgeous placards I have made. 
(Holds them up.) Mrs. D. D. Drake, College Hill. That's 
plain enough, isn't it.^* Look at the slant on this old clothes 
one? They say when your handwriting goes up that way, 
it means optimism. Perhaps it is foretelling a successful 
outcome to our adventures. 

Bug (taking signs and tacking them in place) — I sus- 
pect Clara would rather have a "Handle with Care" one, 
but she won't get it this time. I wish I were class president. 
What fun you will have, Clara. 



16 CATCHING CLARA. 

Clara (inside) — Oh, shut up! 

Bug — Bet the East End Tech boys never thought of 
anything as clever as this. Ouch ! There's that dratted 
finger again. 

Myetle ^peeking into case) — Do you feel comfy, 
Clara? 

Claea — NO ! 

Bug (putting in the last nail) — ^Better change the 
placards and send her to a Zoo. She's cross enough. 

Myrtle (leanvng on case) — Anything more you'd like 
to say, Clara dcax? 

Clara — Give my love to mother. 

Myetle — She says to give her love to mother. Is there 
anything else we ought to say to her before she goes ? 

Clara (wildly) — I want a handkerchief — a handker- 
chief. 

Isabel (taking one from her blouse, and jammvng it 
through a crack) — Here's one. Are you ready now.'' 

Bug — Yes, all take hold. That's right ! Now ! Push ! 
It's a good thing Clara put rollers on this box or we'd never 
get it out. (They roll box to door, Clara groaning.) 

Myrtle — Keep still, Clara, we're going to open the 
door. (The box is pushed outside, and all but Bug and 
Isabel go off shouting, "Good night," "Sweet dreams," 
"Better go to bed, Bug, Clara needs her sleep.") 



CATCHING CLARA. 17 

Isabel (^re-entering) — The hardest part is yet to do. 
We must put Clara's "Asleep" sign on the door and fix her 
bed so that anyone peeking in will think she's in it. (Isabel 
pulls couch cover from the bed, while Bug stealthily opens 
the door and pins up sign reading "Asleep," which she has 
found on Clara's desk.) 

Bug — We shall have to be mighty clever. Don't let 
on to the expressman when he comes for the box in the 
morning. If you do he'll go off with a grin on his face 
and everybody'll suspect at once. 

Isabel {arranging clothes under bed-covers to make a 
hump) — You must think I got to college yesterday! I 
quit sucking peppermint sticks ages ago. 

Bug {going to bed and looking down) — Muss the pil- 
lows up more. That's better. It looks too neat. I'll 
scatter some of Clara's clothes around. It'll look more 
innocent and natural. {Pidls boxes out from under 
the bed and proceeds to scatter their contents — evening 
dresses, sashes, gym suits, etc. The room presents an air 
of great confusion.) 

Isabel — We are doing this splendidly. I feel sure 
we'll get away with it. {Leans over and kisses the pillow 
tenderly) — Good night, Clara dear. Want your window 
opened.'' What.'' It is.'' Well, we won't stay to bother 
you ! Did I put the milk on the windowsill ? Yes, I tended 
to that. Good night, dear. 

Bug — You blooming idiot! 

Isabel — I'm working myself up to a suitable exit. 
{Turns lights down and walks softly to the door.) 



18 CATCHING CLARA. 

Bug {contemptuously ambling after) — Has Frohman 
given you a job or is it Grand Opera? 

Isabel — Vaudeville, of course. I'm king of cut-ups. 

Bug — Queen of quitters is the slogan now. Avaunt! 
(Exit both, then turn mid stick their heads through door 
opening. ) 

Isabel — Get as much sleep as you can, dear. You'll 
need your strength tomorrow. 

Bug (lustily) — Good night, Clara. 

(The stage is left vacant for thirty seconds, tlien the 
door is slyly pushed open. Katie and Mattie peep in.) 

Mattie (pushing the button of a flashlight and speak- 
ing in low tones) — I tell you I watched the door every 
minute. She's here all right. 

Katie — Well, they made a lot of noise in here. I cer- 
tainly heard Bug chuckle too. A chuckle at this stage of 
the game means something. 

Mattie — She didn't go down the fire-escape, because 
Reta is watching it. Besides it's against rules for her to 
go out at night. We've got her all right. 

Katie — S-sh ! She is in bed ! 

Mattie — Leave her alone, then. It must be after mid- 
night. Come on back. 

Katie (throwing a kiss at Clara's bed) — You don't 
know what's in store for you tomorrow, Miss Senior Presi- 
dent. (Exit both.) 



CATCHING CLARA. 19 

{The stage is left vacant thirty seconds. Then two 
burglars climb in window C. Back.) 

MuGGSY (in low tones) — All the gals'll be so tarred 
(tired) they'll be a sleepin' like winter snakes. 

Pete (stealing forward) — An' in the rush o' packin* 
they'll not miss so much as a whistle. Ought to git a lot 
o' green in the way o' travelin' money, too. Turn on the 
glim, Muggsy, let's squint a bit. (The glow of the bulls- 
eye illumines the disorder — petticoats, shoes, etc.) 

Muggsy (backing in dismay)— Strip-ed skunks! 

Pete (starting for the window) — I'm a goin' home. 
This ain't no place fur a gentleman ! (Makes exit, drop- 
ping keys, jimmy, etc., as he flees.) 

Muggsy (also making exit) — Don't ketch me a stayin* 
'roun' no barging counter. Strip-ed skunks — they do look 
different off 'an' they do on — don't they now? (Exit.) 

(The stage is left vacant for thirty seconds, then a gong 
rings. A truck and bumping are heard outside the door.) 

Isabel (sticking head inside) — Better get up, Clara 
dear. Lots to do today. Got a head-ache, you say ! You 
slept too hard. Well, I'll leave the sign on the door any 
way. (Enters) — My, but it has been a long night! 
(Listens at door) — Wonder what Katie Hugo and Mattie 
are up to.'' They're headed down the corridor. (Knock.) 
What had I better do.? (Knock. Isabel half opens door) 
— Hello, girls ! Just came down to wake Clara. She's so 
tired I guess I'll let her alone. 

Katie- — We have to speak to her. 



20 CATCHING CLARA. 

Isabel — Awfully sorry, but you can't. She's asleep. 
I mean she has a headache. 

Mattie — Just let us peek then. That's a nice Belle. 
{Both girls peek and burst into the room, followed hy three 
Juniors. A light rug is thrown over Belle's head before 
she knows it.) 

Katie — Ha — ha ! Beat you that time, Belle. But 
we'll take you along with your beloved president just to 
be good to you. {Goes to bed.) Get up and dress, Clara. 
You're our prisoner ! ( Pokes hump in the bed and leans 
over quickly. ) Girls, it's not Clara ! 

All— What ! 

Mattie — Oh! Oh! Have I let her get away .'' {Rushes 
around frantically. ) See ! Oh see ! Here are muddy foot- 
steps — huge ones ! 

Margaret — And a jimmy and keys. Clara's been 
murdered or abducted. 

Katie — Murdered nothing ! Those are Bug Beal's 
footprints. I'd know 'em anywhere. The Seniors dropped 
that stuff for a blind. Pooh, it wouldn't blind a chicken ! 
{Sits down and thinks wildly.) The room's been watched 
every minute. 

Mattie — Yes, not a single thing has come out of it 
except — 

Katie — That box! {Starts for the door, shouting at 
the top of her lungs) — That box of old clothes, girls I 
Quick ! 



CATCHING CLARA. 21 

Mattie {followmg, shouting) — Of course! Stop the 
box ! 

All {pell-mell and m different keys) — Stop the box! 
Stop the box ! Stop the box ! 

{Quick curtain.) 



ACT II. 

Scene — Dormitory room of Geoege Grenville. /* 
is characterized by greater simplicity than the room i/n the 
foregoing act. The walls are hare save for one or two 
photographs of men's glee clubs and a pipe rack. The 
furniture is mission. At rise George Grenville is dis- 
covered at the table-desk down L. writing a letter. ) 

George {reading aloud as he writes) — Dear Father: 
Thanks for your good letter. I am glad you look forward 
to my home coming. I want to get there all right, all 
right, but I don't see how I'm going to get there with a 
bank account of goose eggs. {Tears paper up in disgust.) 
That's as bald as the governor's head. It'll never do. 
{Scratches ear thoughtfully.) Guess I'll write one to 
mother and be more casual-like. {Writes and reads) — 
Dear Mother: — {Knock.) Come. 

Prof. Rice {entering L. followed by Howard) — ^Ah — 
er — the committee rooms are — er — all occupied, Grenville. 
Brace — ah — er — suggested we hold the settlement workers' 
committee meeting here. Er — ah — you have no objections, 
I hopcf* 



22 CATCHING CLARA. 

George — None at all. (Looks at his watch.) I'm 
glad you came. I'd forgotten all about the thing. (How- 
ard picks up papers scattered on floor and stands hy 
•window C. Back alternately reading the papers and looking 
out.) 

Prof. Rice {seating himself in Morris chair) — Ah — er 
— ours is a great work, looking after the poor and needy. 
You have no conception of how — er — ah — touched I was 
when the townspeople made me the chairman of their char- 
ities committee. (George and Howard exchange winks 
and look bored.) Now, with everything going through 
my hands there is — er — ah — no promiscuous giving. 
Everything is adapted to the individual. The work is er 
— ah — conducted in an orderly manner. I may say — 

Howard — Everyone knows your conduct is most or- 
derly, professor. 

Prof. Rice — Ah — er — yes, I may say that I — er — ah 
— find the confidence placed in me — er — ah — most inspir- 
ing — most. I was — er — ah — most — ah — touched and 
gratified to receive notification from the Dean of the young 
ladies' college of the town to the effect that she was — er — 
ah — sending a box of clothing. 

Howard — I saw it down in the basement this morning. 

Prof. Rice — Yes, er — ah — knowing it to be there, I 
sent word to some of the settlement house children to come 
help us — er — ah — unpack it. I imagine there will be much 
— er — ah — vanity in the box and the gaieties of life please 
the young. 



CATCHING CLARA. 23 

George — Well, it'll be interesting to discover what 
sort of a box the young ladies can pack, all right, all right. 
I confess to a fear of tin cans and worn-out chafing dishes. 

Prof. Rice — The boxes from the girls pass through 
the Dean's hands. There — ah — will be no practical joking. 
(^Knock.) I assure you I will tolerate no practical jokes. 
{Knock.) Ah — er — that must be the little ones. I will 
— er — ah — let them in. Flowers arc— er — ah — not half 
so fair as children's faces. {Opens door.) {Enter Patsy, 
Tom, Giovanni and Hans. They are attired in incon- 
gruous costumes and their hands and faces are muddy, 
grimy and smeared with remnants of pop-corn hall. Tom 
eats peanuts steadily throughout the scene, shooting shells 
at different things of interest and refusing to divide. ) Ah, 
here you are — er — my posies. Come in, come in. You 
will find a seat for you over yonder on the — er — ah — bed. 

George {rising wildly and standing before the bed, as 
he contemplates the children's dirt) — Oh, no, no. You 
mustn't sit there. You see it wouldn't do at all. Who 
was it. Brace — Billy Fisher, wasn't it that had measles here? 

Howard {laughing) — I believe so, but papers won't 
carry germs. {Carries newspapers to bed and spreads 
them out there.) See these nice, clean papers, Mr. Gren- 
ville is going to let you sit on so you won't get any germs. 

Hans — I no afraid of germs. Dey ist ver-ee nice 
tings — germs. 

George — You shouldn't make such remarks. You don't 
know what you are talking about. 

Hans {seating himself with the other children) — Ach, 
I do too know. I tell you dere ist nineteen in our family 
already yet and every one he come from Germ-any. 



24 CATCHING CLARA. 

Howard {laughing) — Well, Mr. Grenville did not 
come from Germ-any, so I guess he'll have to admit you 
know more about germs than he does. 

Hans — Ach, I know about germs — leetle germs and big 
germs. I can tell dem all. 

Prof. Rice — The box will — er — ah — be here shortly 
and then you will each have something to take home. What 
— er — ah — should you like? (Points finger at Tom.) You, 
for instance. 

Tom {sullenly) — I want to git some top clothes and 
some underclothes. 

Prof. Rice {making a note in his memorandum book) 
— Some top clothes and some underclothes. Yes, yes. 
Ah — er — I fear this box from a young ladies' college will 
scarcely fit your needs, but I shall bear you in mind. What 
do you want.-* {Points at Patsy, who possesses only a 
rudimentary pig-tail.) 

Patsy — Shoire'n Oi'll be wishin' fur a big jewelled 
latch-pin fur me back-hair — diamonts and emeralds pre- 
ferred. ( Knock. ) 

Prof. Rice — There is the — er — ah — box. (George 
opens door. ) We shall now have the pleasure of ministering 
to you, my lambies. 

Tom — Don't want none o' your prcacliin'. {Children 
all make dreadful faces as Professor turns his back.) 

Putnam {wheeling boa: in and down C.) — Hyah's youh 
box, professah. De 'pressman done brung him dis mawnin* 
cahly. 



CATCHING CLARA. 25 

Prof. Rice {readmg placard) — But this is addressed 
to Mrs. Drake. 

Putnam — Yes, sah. De 'pressman say dat you all ast 
him and ast him so much about dat box of ole clothes dat 
he brung you de fust one he seen ready. 

Prof. Rice — Ah — er — I see now. It is marked old 
clothes. I presume Mrs. Drake did not find time to change 
the address. That will do, Putnam. 

Putnam — Yes, sah. {Pulls box opener from his 
pocket.) Doan you want me to open hit foh you, sah.? 

Prof. Rice — No, Putnam. I know you have other 
duties. I will attend to it myself. (Stands by box with 
opener vn his hands. ) 

Putnam — Yes, sah. (Exit.) 

Prof. Rice — Now, Iambics, here's the nice box. I pre- 
sume that it will contain — er — ah — shoes — and — er — ah — 
stockings and — er — ah — skirts and — er — ah — 

Giovanni — You giva me de pretty clothes for my sister 
and my pa he maka da hurdy-gurdy to playa under your 
weendow. 

Prof. Rice — Yes, yes. You shall all have pretty 
things. (Howard and George stand by box.) Ouch! 
Volumes of Euclid! {Drops box opener and wrings his 
hand.) It has always been a matter of curiosity to me 
why some one really scientific does not — er — ah — invent 
useful implements for the — er — ah — benefit of man. I 
have never picked up one yet that was not made by a lum- 
bering lout. 



26 CATCHING CLARA. 

George (prying at box cover) — Perhaps I shall have 
better luck. 

Patsy — Oi wants some top clothes, too. 

PaoF. Rice — Just a moment, lambie. You may have 
your choice of anything here. 

Patsy — Some top clothes and a jewelled latch-pin. Ma 
said Oi was ter git some spoons too ef there was any handy. 

Pbof. Rice — Yes, yes, just a moment. 

Geoege — This box ought to hold a pretty good sized 
Klondike nugget. It's heavy enough. (Howard tries to 
lift box.) 

Howard — Gee, it is heavy ! 

George (throwing baik cover) — Holy smoke! 

Giovanni — I hopa m}' clothes they do not bum. 

Clara (rising stiffly) — I am so stiff I can scarcely 
move. Please help me, someone. (Both George and 
How^ARD riish to help her.) 

Tom — She ain't got on nuthin' I want. 

Patsy (beginning to xcail) — I want de latch-pin fur 
me back hair. 

Giovanni — Don't weepa de tears, cara mia. It is a 
sister that they giva you. Don't you understand ! One 
nica sister. 

Patsy — Oi got a dozen sisters. I want a latch-pin fur 
me back hair. 



CATCHING CLARA. 27 

Prof. Rice — There, there, lambies, not so much noise. 
We shall attend to you in a moment. {To Clara) — I don't 
know which young man connived with you to — er — ah — 
play this joke on me, but I wish to voice my distinct dis- 
approval — my distinct disapproval. I do not tolerate 
practical jokes. 

• 

Clara {sinking into a chair) — Well, if you think it's 
a joke to be fastened up in a box for fifteen hours, your 
sense of humor is rudimentary. 

George and Howard — Fifteen hours ! 

Clara — Yes. We want to have the Senior Book Burn- 
ing today so that we can have our procession tonight. The 
Juniors have watched me so carefully that this was the only 
way to make my escape. 

George — And you got into that box to get away from 
the Juniors ! Great ! 

Clara — I thought I should be taken to the Dean's, but 
the expressman was expecting a box for you Tech people, 
so he brought me here. 

Howard — Aren't you starved.'' 

Clara — Nearly, though some crackers and a cake of 
chocolate helped some. 

Prof. Rice — I shall have to ask you all to come to the 
office that I may inquire into this. I — er — ah — don't 
know when I have been so shocked — so — er — ah — dis- 
tressed. To think of the anguish you have caused the 
lambies, too. 



28 CATCHING CLARA. 

Patsy — Oi want m}- top clothes and my latch-pin ! 
Booh-hooh ! Oi give me sister what was left of me all-day 
sucker to finish the washin' an' now Oi ain't a goin' ter git 
nothin' back. Booh-hooh ! 

Hans {going to window) — Ach, I don't want any of 
dem top clothes. I vill climb down de fire-ladder. 

Prof. Rice — There, there, lambies, just a moment. 
(To others) — Tliis is frightful! Disgraceful! Have you 
no compassion for the suffering you are causing.'' 

Hans — Ach, look at de vimmens ! Look at de vim- 
mens ! 

Clara {rising stif[ly) — Oh, I know those Juniors are 
on my track. 

Howard — Surely not. {He and George rtish to xem- 
dows. ) 

Hans — I never seen so many vimmens. Such funny 
ways dey wear de clothes, too. Each wears a sleeve for a 
skirt already yet. 

Giovanni — ^We shall all have extra sisters, is it not so.^ 

George — Gee, look at the campus ! It's white with 
them. 

Clara {in agony) — Oh, what shall I do.? They mustn't 
get me now ! {Knock.) What shall I do.? 

Putnam {entering) — Pse sorry to disturb you all, sah, 
but de 3'oung ladies from de college say dey's a mistake 
about dis heah box. Dey give me five dollahs to bring hit 
back, sah. 



CATCHING CLARA. 



Clara — Oh, they mustn't — mustn't catch me now ! 
{Imploring the Professor) — Help me, professor! Help 
me! 

Prof. Rice — Yes, yes, lambie — er — I mean precious — 
er — ah — madam. I see you really need the aid of the 
sterner sex. Indeed, I apologize for misjudging you. I 
will do all in my power — all in my power to assist you. 
Er — ah — what can we do, gentlemen.'' 

George — Send the box back. 

Clara — But someone will have to go in it. (Looks 
appealmgly at the audience.) Oh, won't somebody please 
get into the box.'' 

Hans — I vill get into de box ef it will oblige you-, lady. 

Patsy {shrilly) — Oi want to — Oi want to. Lemme; 
lemme ! 

Giovanni — I — I stand ready to serva you, cara mia. 

Prof. Rice — There, lambies, there. Be quiet. I think 
perhaps I had better go. A wiser head than — er — ah — 
yours is needed in this matter. 

George {springing into the box) — Sorry to disappoint 
you, professor, but you may be needed for the Tech com- 
mencement. Don't you dare tell those girls I'm in here, 
Putnam. 

Putnam {beginning to nail up the box) — No, sah, I 
ain't gwine to tell nobody, sah. 

Clara — Oh, how perfectly noble of you to save me this 
way. Please hurry, please! {Turns to Howard) — But 
how shall I get out of here.'' 



30 CATCHING CLARA. 

Howard — I have a long motor coat, goggles and a 
motor cap that will fit down over your head. It's just the 
thing. When the box starts, we'll telephone for an auto, 
and I'll drive you wherever you wish to go without fear of 
detection. 

Clara — ^Lovely ! Please get the coat at once. I'm 
wild to be gone. {To Putnam) — Hurry! Hurry! 

Putnam — Yes, m'am, I'se hurryin', m'am. 

Prof. Rice — Now just be seated, young lady, and try 
to calm yourself while — er — ah — I order something for you 
to eat. Your food will do you no good while you are in 
such an excitable condition. Calm yourself. tThink of 
the gentle — er — ah — ox — er — 

Clara — Mercy, don't tell me that ! I'm scared to 
death of cows ! 

Prof. Rice — Well, well, just a moment. I will bring 
some food for you and the — er — ah — lambies. 

Patsy {svtiking hack in imitation of Clara) — Oi'm 
grad-u-lce famishin'. Oi would thot Oi had so much as a 
cracker to break. 

Prof. Rice — There, there, just a moment. 

Clara {to Howard) — Please go. It would be just 
like those Juniors to climb up the fire-escape and find me 
here. 

Howard — Going right now. Are you ready, Putnam.** 

Putnam {throwing hack his head and laughing loudly) 
— Ho, ho, ho, ho! Yes, sah. Yes, sah. I'se ready, sah. 
( They roll the box to the door. ) 



CATCHING CLARA. 31 

Clara {looking rapturously at the box) — I hope we 
shall meet again. (Exeunt Howard and Putnam.) 

Prof. Rice — If the box could speak I am — er — ah — 
sure it would echo your wish. 

Clara — Oh, I wasn't referring to the box. I was re- 
ferring to — 

Tom — This ain't gittin' my top clothes. 

Patsy — Oi wants de latch-pin fur me back hair. 

Prof. Rice — Yes, lambie. Just a moment. If you 
will pardon me, I will — er — ah — get something which may 
appease your hunger. Just a minute, lambies. (Exit.) 

Tom (contemptuotidy surveying Clara) — Me sister 
could wear them thar shoes and stockings you got on. 

Giovanni — I gotta sister, too. 

Patsy — My sister could wear de dress youze got on. 

Clara — Mercy, children ! I need a few clothes myself. 

Tom — Ye needn't think we're took in by this con-game. 
We got ast over here to help ourselves to what we seen an' 
now we've seen it we're a goin' ter hev hit. Ain't we, kids? 

Hans {sniping) — Ach, ve ist pore leetle settlemint 
house kinder— pore and needy. Ve must have de clothes. 

Clara {drawing hack, almost frightened) — But it's 
summer time. You don't need clothes to keep you warm 
in summer time. 

Tom — I tell ye we needs 'em to keep de rain off, see ! 

Clara — Really a little water would be good for you. 



32 CATCHING CLARA, 

Tom — Don't you give me none o' your sass. {Makes 
a rush at Clara.) Take off dem duds. (Clara screams 
and there is a knock at the door. The children survey exit 
expectantly. ) 

Clara — Oh, I mustn't be seen here. (Looks about 
•wildly.) Surely the curtain is big enough to shield me. 
(Dashes behind it.) Thank fortune there is one. (Knock 
repeated. ) 

Mrs. Grenville (pushing open door) — George, dear. 
Where are you, my boy ? 

Hans (complacently) — We'se all here, m'am. 

Mrs. Grenville (in surprise) — You're all here! Well, 
so it seems. And who may you be? 

Patsy (with sweet innocence) — We're his lambies. 

Mrs. Grenville — His lambies ! 

Hans — ^Und his flowers. 

Mrs. Grenville — His flowers ! jNIercy, George's ex- 
aminations must have told on his brain. He never liked 
children. Where is my son, children? 

Tom — He went to git some salt fur his lambies ! 

Mrs. Grenville — Well, I never ! I insist upon know- 
ing where my son is, children. 

Tom — He stole our top clothes and hiked. 

Patsy — And our underclothes. Yes, he did. 

Giovanni — And then he maka dc supreme flight. 

Patsy — He ininncd away. 



CATCHING CLARA. 33 

Mks. Gkenville — George has gone away. 

Hans — Ya, he ist joost gone. 

Howard {opening door with motoring things on his 
arm) — The car's at the door. Everything's ready. Why 
— why — hello^ — Mrs. Grenville. {Comes forward and 
shakes hands, looking nervously about the while. ) Where'd 
you come from ? 

Mrs. Grenville — I thought I'd come down and sur- 
prise dear George. 

Howard — He'll be surprised all right. Very nice of 
you, I'm sure. George will be delighted. 

Mrs. Grenville — But where is George .f* 

Tom — He went off with my top clothes. 

Patsy — And de latch-pin fur me back hair. 

Howard — Why, George — why he's around somewhere. 
i^Calls) — George — oh — George. Where are you? 

Prof. Rice {entering with a tea tray piled with cakes, 
etc.) — Now lambies — I mean — er — ah — young lady — ah — 
er — {Sees Mrs. Grenville.) Er — ah — did you come to 
consult me about charity, madam ? 

Mrs. Grenville {furiously) — Do I look as if I were 

in need of charity ? No, I came here to see my boy and I'm 
being insulted at every turn. 

Howard {hastily) — Professor Rice is head of the town 
charity association. The ladies often come here to consult 
him about giving, Mrs. Grenville. 



34 CATCHING CLARA. 

Mrs. Guenville {rushing to shake hands with the Pko- 
FESSOR, who hopelessly holds tray) — Oh, are you dear Pro- 
fessor Rice? I have heard so much about you and I'm so 
glad to meet you. So glad ! Perhaps you will tell me 
what has become of my poor boy. 

Howard (anxiously) — I've just told her George would 
be in at any moment. 

Prof. Rice — ^Yes, yes, he's vn — I mean, out — no, in. 
Yes, he was in when I saw him last. He's probably not 
out yet. 

Patsy — Oi wants some cookies. (Languidly) — Oi 
famish fur 'raimint of de stummick. 

Mrs. Grenville — George is out — in — fled.'' I don't 
understand at all. 

Prof. Rice — Yes, lambie. I mean — er — ah — just a 
moment, madam. (Sets tray on chair and there is a wild 
rush from the children to get to it.) 

Mrs. Grenville — You all act so strange. Tell me — 
where is my son ? 

Tom — Dey nailed him up in a box. Dey needn't let on 
dey don't know whar he's at. 

Howard (kicking at Tom) — Shut up, you Mick. 

Mrs. Grenville — Nailed him up in a box ! You don't 
mean — oh, you don't mean — (Makes elaborate preparations 
for fainting.) 

Howard (hastily) — Some girls penned him up in a 
box and took him over to the college. He's quite all right. 



CATCHING CLARA. 35 

Mrs. Grenville — Penned him up in a box! Oh, my 
poor manly boy. They'll marry you — oh, they will — they 
will ! George was always so popular with the girls. 

Howard — He won't be popular this time. 

Mrs. Grenville {indignantly') — All the boys are 
jealous of George. They strive to emulate his dignity, 
but can not acquire it. Poor George ! Poor George ! I 
must go protect him at once. Where is this — this so- 
called college? {Turns toward door and curtain hidvng 
Clara faWs.) Mercy, now what? 

Howard — Why — why, that's — the — ^the cook from the 
settlement house. 

Patsy — ^We're her lambies. 

Hans — ^Ya, ve're her lambies. 

Howard — You see they — ah — all came to get some old 
clothes we had for them. 

Patsy — An' dey got our tings. 

Tom ( to Clara ) — You give me dem duds. 

Mrs. Grenville {making for the door) — Oh, my poor, 
manly boy ! This must have driven you mad. Where are 
you? Oh, where are you? {Exit.) 

Patsy {flyvng after, followed by all the children but 
Tom, who tugs at Clara's skirt) — Hi, youse — youse got 
on me latch-pin fur me back hair. Give me my latch-pin ! 

{Tableau and curtain.) 



36 CATCHING CLARA. 

ACT III. 

Scene — Dimly lit South Corridor of Rutland College. 
It contains a settee down R. and another down L., statuary 
and palms as per diagrams. At rise Katie and Mattie 
are discovered on settee down R. They are attired in white 
skirts and light athletic sweaters hearing class numerals, 
from which they are picking burrs. 

Katie — I never will be rid of these scratches on my 
hands and face. I was so anxious to grab Clara I never 
thought about brambles or anything else. 

Mattie — These awful burrs are what get me. They 
just won't come off! (Laughs.) But I don't mind burrs 
or going without my dinner or being half dead so long as 
we've got their old Senior president. 

Katie — Yes, that was a slick trick all right. I'm so 
glad we outwitted them. If that silly expressman hadn't 
gone off on a drunk we could have located the box right 
away this morning. 

Mattie — It was tough to put in three-quarters of the 
day running it down. The Seniors were as worried as we. 

Katie — Imagine! I heard one of the poor babies say 
they thought the box had gone to the Dean's, 

Mattie — How pleased and happy they looked at break- 
fast this morning ! Their faces will show a fall in tempera- 
ture tonight. 

Katie — A fall in temper all right. My, but I wish 
Cassie would hurry I 



CATCHING CLARA. 37 

Mattie — Wasn't it just our luck to have the old Dean 
ask her to dinner tonight? I believe she did it on purpose. 

Katie — Well, I told the girls to bring the box on up 
from the basement and we'll keep it till Cassie comes. Of 
course it wouldn't be fair to witness Clara's discomfiture 
without her. 

Mattie — No, of course not. Poor Clara! I feel a 
bit sorry for her — penned up in that box all this time. 

Katie — The girls have been feeding her through the 
cracks. I never saw such an appetite in my life. Here 
they come now. {Enter Minnie, Margaret and Hazel 
L. with box on truck.) 

Hazel — Here we are for the grand unveiling cere- 
mony. 

Minnie — Has Cassie come back yet? 

Katie — No ! Isn't it punk ? 

Mattte — Well, the later we wait the better the effect 
will be. Where are the rest of the class? 

Minnie {leavvng box on truck in front of settee R.) — 
Most of the girls went down to McCabe's restaurant to see 
if they could get a bite to eat. A few are up in their rooms 
combing burrs out. 

Katie — Just as well. They know everything is safe 
now, Clara's caught. Wish I'd had something to eat. I 
feel as wobbly as an earthworm. 

Minnie — You can have the rest of this chocolate. 
(Hazel sticks crackers through cracks in box.) Our pris- 
oner is beginning to decline food. 



38 CATCHING CLARA. 

Mattie — Will she say anything yet? 

Hazel — No. We've tried to make her talk, but she 
won't. I thought she was dead till I saw her move. 

Cassie {entering C. Back in evening gown and wrap) — 
Oh, girls, wasn't it perfectly outrageous Mrs. Drake should 
ask me there tonight.'* Of course I couldn't refuse. 

Minnie — We have kept your captive in the refrigerator 
room. I assure you she's perfectly cool and ready to serve. 

Hazel — Yes, everything is ready for your august 
presence. Madam President. 

Cassie — Let us proceed with the opening of the box, 
then. (Seats herself on the settee.) 

Katie — Aren't you going to wait for the rest of the 
girls .'' 

Cassie — I'd like to, but I was ass enough to exploit our 
cleverness to the Dean and she made me promise to release 
Clara as soon as I got back. 

Mattie (beginning to pry box-lid on one side as 
Minnie works on the other) — I suppose it would be more 
humane, but honest to goodness I hate to let her out. 

Cassie — We can keep her unboxed as well as boxed — 
especially if she's as well refrigerated as Minnie thinks. 
The rest of the class will be back in time to hear Clara read 
her acknowledgment of defeat and that's all that really 
matters. 

Katie — Oh, won't it be just lovely ! I'm so glad I be- 
loncf to the smartest class going ! 

INIattie — Me too. 



CATCHING CLARA. 39 

Minnie — I bet you my new tango pumps Clara looks 
as cross as fighting pigs. 

Hazel — Nobody takes you. She'll wear a sad. resigned 
air of injured innocence. You see ! 

Katie — She'll be an indignant queen. 

Mattie — Or frivolous. Pretend she let us catch her. 

Minnie — Madam President, I beg to announce that the 
covers are ready to come off. Is it your wish they be re- 
moved ? 

Cassie — Proceed with the removal of the covers. 

Mattie {throwing hack covers) — Arise, Clara Crad- 
dock. 

(George Grenville shoots up like a jack-vn-the-box. 
He wears Clara's kimono and boudoir cap to which he has 
affixed the false braid and puffs. ) 

Cassie — What have you to say for yourself? 

George {bowing profoundly) — I am honored that you 
thought me worth so much trouble. {Springs from box. 
Girls scream.) 

Cassie — What were you doing in that box.'' 

George {innocently) — I was dressing to come out. 

Cassie — Silly, I don't mean that. How came you there? 

George — It's my home. {Holds up empty milk can 
and cracker box.) I've been sleeping, eating and cooking 
here. It's for rent now. Do you chance to want it.f* 

Cassie — Answer my questions, please. We have no 
time to frivol. 



40 CATCHING' CLARA. 

George {ruefully) — Well, I don't suppose this house 
would suit you. It does lack modern conveniences. There's 
electric lighting, but no gas stove. It really is pretty 
small. You have to step outside to change your mind — 
you can't do that inside. 

Cassie — I tell you I haven't time for trifling. Please 
explain your presence at once. 

George {dancing up and down with mincing steps and 
holding out his kimono while he improvises a tune for his 
words) — There's nothing to explain — there's nothing to 
explain. There's nothing to explain — explain — there's 
nothing to explain. 

Mrs. Grenville {entering C. ) — Where is my poor, 
manly boy.'* 

George {turning in surprise) — Why, hello, mater! 

Mrs. Grenville {rushing to him) — Oh, my poor boy. 
I'm just in time — ^just in time. {Turns to Cassie) — I 
should like an explanation of this brazen conduct. What 
do you mean by abducting a poor woman's only son.'* He 
shan't marry one of you, so there ! 

Cassie — Madam, if this is your son, you do well to pro- 
tect him. He has played a most scandalous trick upon us. 
A ducking would be too good for him. 

Mrs. Grenville {taking off George's boudoir cap and 
rumpling his hair fondly) — My poor, manly boy. How 
the women do impose on you. Come right home with 
mother, dear. 

Minnie {aside) — Mother has a peppermint drop for 
you, darling. 



CATCHING CLARA. 41 

George {trying to shake off his mother) — Don't, mater. 
You make me a laughing stock. 

Katie {springing up) — We're the laughing stock. 
Girls, what shall we do ? 

Cassie {also rising in haste) — I'm so dazed I don't 
know what to do. 

Katie — We've got to stop those Seniors, that's what 
we've got to do. 

Minnie — There may yet be time. 

Mattie — What idiots we've been. 

Margaret — Don't let's give up yet. Come ! Hurry ! 
{They all start toward C. Back as doors C. are flung open. 
The Juniors hack as if hypnotized and sink on the settees. 
George and Mrs. Grenville stand by the box staring at 
the spectacle. When the doors are flung wide, the Seniors 
wrapped in sheets and wearing tall conical caps of white 
paper, march slowly down, two by two, carrying lighted 
candles or torches and singing in a dirge-like manner. At 
the center of the stage they divide — one line going out 
archway L., the other out archway R. — aiming at two 
attractive curves rather than at right angles. They may 
repeat the stanzas given as much as necessary or invent 
new ones with local hits.) 

Seniors {singing to the tune of "Where, O where are 
the Hebrew Children?")— 

Where, O where are the Senior note-books. 
Where, O where are the Senior note-books, 
Where, O where are the Senior note-books? 
Safe, safe, in the red, red flames. 



42 CATCHING CLARA. 

They've gone out from the stuffy class-room, 
They've gone out from the stuffy class-room, 
They've gone out from the stuffy class-room. 
Straight, straight to the red, red flames. 
Where, O where are the war-like Juniors, 
Where, O where are the war-like Juniors, 
Where, O where are the war-like Juniors? 
Deep, deep in black despair. 
They stole our box and got a prize, 
They stole our box and got a prize. 
They stole our box and got a prize — 
Quite a sur-prise for those wily thieves. 
Where, O where is the Seniors' mascot, 
Where, O where is the Seniors' mascot. 
Where, O where is the Seniors' mascot.'' 
Safe, safe in his mother's care. 
She's come out to save him from us, 
She's come out to save him from us. 
She's come out to save him from us. 
Poor, poor little mascot boj'. 

George {excitedly to Cassie) — Who's that Senior 
president ? She's a peacherino. I'll marry her or die ! 

Cassie (mocJcingly) — That's Clara Craddock, son. 
You may marry her, but you'll have to catch her first. 

Katie (ruefully)— And CATCHING CLARA isn't so 
easy as it looks. 

(Curtain, as Seniors hehind the scenes sing, "She's 
come out to save him from us, she's come out to save him 
from us, she's come out to save him from us, poo^*, poor, 
little mother's joy.") 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

IJIIIillilililllJll 

016 102 363 2 # 



